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Cold turkey


A few years ago I gave up coffee and tea for Lent.  I was concerned that I might be addicted to coffee and this didn't seem a healthy thing.  Giving up something I loved seemed like a good way to show God I loved him.  I had a headache for two days.  The tea and coffee fast showed me that I wasn't addicted to coffee, I just really liked it.  I feel about coffee the way some people feel about chocolate - it's one of the great pleasures in life, but I can do without it.  However, I realised that I was addicted to tea.  For me, tea isn't like chocolate, it's like oxygen.  In fact, I hadn't given up tea during Lent, I'd simply switched to decaf, knowing that giving up tea altogether would be too hard.

Since then, every time Lent comes around I have thought about giving up tea and coffee again, but I just didn't have the guts.  This year, I decided I had to take the bull by the horns and do it again.  Surely I love God more than my morning cup of tea, I thought?  So, like the reckless fool I am, I stopped dead, cold turkey, switched to decaf suddenly on Ash Wednesday morning.  And now I feel really, really grim.  

I googled caffeine withdrawal today and discovered that headache is the number one symptom.  However, tiredness, irritability and even anxiety can accompany it.  That might explain why, despite taking my anxiety medication as normal yesterday, a mild faux pas I committed with a stranger went round and round my head nonstop for hours.  Yesterday, I felt like I had a mild migraine.  Today, I felt absolutely awful.  My husband was concerned.  If it's caffeine withdrawal, why don't you have some caffeine?  Firstly, because I am incredibly stubborn, and secondly, because I know that the headache will just start again afterwards unless I drink more tea.  Now, after a three-hour nap, I feel better.  

Apparently caffeine constricts the blood vessels in the brain, and when you stop drinking it, the increased blood flow causes a headache.  This is exactly what causes migraine headache, so it appears that my number one drug of choice imitates the effect of my only long-term medical problem.  There's irony for you.  After less than two days, I am realising that I need seriously to rethink my caffeine intake once Lent is over.  And, Lord, I hope the sweet fragrance of the tea and coffee I am not drinking is pleasing to you.

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