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Goodbye Paul

I've spent an emotional afternoon at Central Baptist Church, Chelmsford marking Paul Beasley-Murray's retirement after 43 years in ministry.  For the past 21 years Paul has been senior minister at CBC, and I attended the church for ten of those years, having arrived as a very new Christian.  I was nurtured in the Christian faith at CBC; baptised by Paul; became an intern to test my calling to Christian ministry; served on the staff team as an evangelist; was commended for ministerial training by the church, and supported through three years at theological college; was married by Paul, to a very nice man I had met in the young adults group at CBC; and finally I was ordained by Paul and sent out to begin my own ministry at Leigh Road.

It is quite something to have the opportunity to look back and see where you have come from.  To see so many faces who have meant so much over the years, not least Paul, who has been present at all the significant milestones of the last ten years - and it's been quite a decade.  There can't be many people who have been baptised, married and ordained by Paul - certainly not in such a short space of time!

Leaving my sending church to go out into the big wide world has happened in stages, the first of which was leaving for college.  My first term at Regent's was a bit of a shock to the system; although I was excited about the opportunity to study again, I hadn't quite prepared myself for the assault on my faith that in-depth theological study can bring.  Studying the gospels, as we did that term, forces you to deconstruct very familiar texts in a way which can be quite alarming.  Jesus can start to seem like a historical or literary figure rather than the living Lord.  About four weeks into the term, I attended an ordination service in Bristol at which Paul was preaching.  My then boyfriend and I arrived late halfway through the service, and had to sit in the balcony directly above the stage where Paul's sermon was in full swing.  The reassurance of hearing my pastor preaching the gospel which I had been picking apart in tutorials for several weeks was immensely reassuring.  It was like coming home.

I guess I'm all grown up now.  Thanks, Paul, for your part in that.

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