Thanks to my friend S who sent me a talk given by Revd Dr Sam Wells. He has this to say: 'what the collar is saying is, I am someone who, however deep you wish to go, will never be out of my depth'. I like this. Perhaps the collar gives people permission - opens up the possibility of a conversation.
I remember a few years ago having a housewarming party in my flat, and deciding to invite my new neighbours. I had tried knocking on doors but, because of the (extremely loud) entry phone system, no one ever listened out for a knock on the door, and most of my neighbours didn't open up when I knocked. So I put invitations to my party in their postboxes.
When the party was in full swing, two men in their forties turned up - one of my neighbours and his friend - clutching cans of beer. I invited them in and started chatting. The friend was a bit obnoxious, especially when he found out that I was renting the flat from my dad - clearly I was a middle class daddy's girl. But I carried on being polite and in the course of the conversation he asked me what I did, and I explained that I worked for a church and was hoping to train to become a minister. His demeanour changed completely as he stood in my tiny kitchen and told me of a recent bereavement and the sadness he felt. I was almost a complete stranger, but knowing the job I did gave him permission to open up in a way which was quite remarkable. Of course, the beers probably helped as well.
Sam Wells writes of a time he was on a bus and the driver asked him to hear his confession. Maybe I should prepare for the unexpected...
A close colleague and I once spent a night at a retreat house as we thought and prayed about the direction of our church. At the end of day 1, we slipped across the road for a purely missional pint or two at the local pub and, as things turned out, were the last to leave at closing time. Though dressed in the house uniform of jeans and T-shirt, the landlord correctly identified us as 'vicars' from the house opposite and then, in the deserted pub, began to tell us about his brother's death that year from cancer and how that had made him think about spiritual things. I've never worn a clerical collar but sometimes I think ministers carry it with us in our attitudes and willingness to listen carefully for hints that someone wants to talk. So, in fact, can any Christian with a heart for people, not just ministers...
ReplyDeleteWell done on this blog, Emma.