One of my all-time favourite films is As Good As It Gets, starring Jack Nicholson and Helen Hunt. Nicholson plays Melvin Udall, a talented and famous novelist who suffers from severe obsessive compulsive disorder and hates leaving his apartment. He also has a highly unpleasant personality and is extremely rude (and hence very funny to watch). Helen Hunt plays Carol, the waitress who patiently serves Melvin exactly the same breakfast every morning at the same table in the same restaurant, which he eats with a plastic knife and fork he brings himself, carefully sealed in a plastic pocket. Melvin is terrified of germs, which means he hates being touched or touching anything outside his apartment, and has to wash his hands with very hot water and many bars of soap. Because, of course, once you've touched the soap, it's dirty, right? He also has routines around locking his front door; turning light switches on and off a certain number of times; touching the floor a certain number of times with his feet before putting on his slippers in the morning; and so on, and so on. The story hinges on a great service Melvin does for Carol's sick son - not out of the milk of human kindness, you understand, but because he wants her to come back to work and serve him his bacon.
Part of the reason I love this film so much is that I really get the weird little things Melvin does. When I was in my final year at university I developed OCD myself: I too had the obsession with cleaning my hands; the fear of contamination (in my case, it was the fear of contaminating others); the turning on and off of light switches (just to check it's really off. Because, you know, the electrics might catch fire if it's not). It took me around half an hour just to complete all my routines once I was ready for bed. I washed my hands so much the skin cracked and started bleeding, which worsened the fear of contamination, because now I had to cover the broken skin with plasters. This was the point at which I realised I needed help, and fortunately I had a perceptive and loving family, a wonderful GP who listened to me, and it was the year 2000, back when someone like me, who was considered 'mild' (not that it felt mild to me at the time), could get a referral to a psychiatrist pretty quickly. I got better, and for a long time the symptoms faded away almost completely. But anxiety has proven in my case to be a many-headed beast with the power of regrowing heads. More on this later.
Now I have revealed some of my past struggles, perhaps I can get away with a joke, one of my favourites. Because after all, OCD is simply an irrational way of controlling fear, and the best antidote to fear is laughter:
Thank you for calling the mental health hotline.
If you are obsessive compulsive, press 1 repeatedly. If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you.
If you have multiple personalities, press 3, 4, 5 & 6.
If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want. Stay on the line so we can trace your call.
If you are delusional, press 7, and you call will be transferred to the Mother Ship.
If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a small voice will tell you which number to press.
If you have bipolar disorder, please leave a message after the beep.
Or before the beep. Or after the beep. Please wait for the beep.
If you have low self-esteem, please hang up. All our operators are far too busy to talk to you.
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