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Let's banish shame from slimming


Photo by Oliver Sjöström on Unsplash

I’ve recently been watching Hugh Fearnley-Whittingstall’s documentary ‘Britain’s Fat Fight’ on BBC iPlayer - it’s a great programme which I’d highly recommend. Since joining Slimming World two and a half years ago I have become very passionate about healthy eating, having struggled to control my weight for most of my life so far. There is much that is really helpful, informative and inspiring in the documentary. I was most struck, however, by what celebrity chef Hugh says about shame. I guess it's been said before, but it struck me as a fresh insight: it's really hard for us to talk about our weight. There is a lot of shame bound up with food, weight and body image.

Even GPs (this bit really surprised me) apparently find it difficult to talk with their patients about their weight. Hugh talks with a group of GPs in Bristol who say that their patients already know they're overweight, so their doctors find it hard to bring up the subject. The receptionist explains that she's had patients come out of their appointment furious, saying that the doctor has just called them fat. I've had a doctor bring up my weight with me and I did not enjoy the experience. Even though he spoke gently and with compassion, I felt profoundly shamed. 

Apparently 2/3 of us in the UK are now overweight, so it has become the new normal. And no wonder when you consider our busy lifestyles and the kinds of foods on offer all around us. If we work or have caring responsibilities full time, cooking takes a chunk of our time each day that we may not easily be able to spare. And there are so many quick, easy, unhealthy options. Ready meals, packed with sugar, salt and fat. Pies and pizzas, which we can just shove in the oven. Takeaways, which can give us as many calories in one meal as we should be eating in a whole day. And as for breakfasts and lunches, many of us grab what we can on the go, or skip meals altogether. A breakfast pastry from a coffee shop (watch the bake off to see just how much butter goes in a batch of croissants). A pasty from a petrol station. A chocolate bar as a pick-me-up during a busy day. These are the kinds of snacks we can most easily find when we are harassed and hungry. Five-a-day is a great principle but putting it into practice can be very hard. Sometimes struggles with weight can be dismissed with the glib exhortation "just eat less and move more". Simple but not easy. And actually incorrect. In my experience, reaching a healthy weight is not about eating less but eating better. You can't just cut food out - you need to replace it with something, otherwise you'll feel hungry, hard done by, and desperate for the diet to be over so you can go back to enjoying food. 

Excess weight is associated with greed - those of us with extra weight are taking in too much, taking up too much space in the world, and need to punish ourselves back into a socially acceptable body shape. Of course, that's not ever said openly, but I think it's the message many of us receive. But feeling bad about yourself does not help you lose weight - actually it's the reverse. The more you love yourself, the more you want to give your body good, nutritious food. The more you love yourself, the more likely you are to take time out to cook and eat properly, because your body is worth it. And let's get rid of "should", "ought" and language of naughtiness and badness around food. I've done it myself, but I'm trying to stop. No, I haven't "been bad" today, I've chosen to have some treats, and maybe tomorrow I'll choose to level things out with salads and fruits. No, I'm not "being good" today, I'm choosing foods that are good for my body. Slimming World taught me that I have a choice how I eat, and I can educate myself and my taste buds to make healthy choices. And, as my consultant says, "there's no shame in a gain". 

Food and weight is not usually seen as a spiritual issue, but when it affects our self-image, I think it becomes one. God made us and loves us. He made our emotional, spiritual and physical selves. He made our bodies. Actually there is an awful lot in the Bible about food. Friendship with God is often expressed in terms of a meal. “Look! I stand at the door and knock. If you hear my voice and open the door, I will come in, and we will share a meal together as friends". (Revelation 3:20 NLT) Food is good, and so are we. God made both. 

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