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News headlines on Easter Sunday

[To preempt any future lawsuits, please note that the stories below are not true.  Yet.]

‘Refugees welcome in the USA,’ declares Donald Trump, announcing his plan to receive up to 12 million refugees from Syria to be given US green cards.


Fortune 500 companies unite to end HIV/Aids.  Apple, McDonald’s, Walmart and Coca-Cola pledge 50% of their net profits over five years to supply HIV antiretroviral medication and health education programmes to 47 countries in sub-Saharan Africa, where 71% of those living with HIV/Aids globally can be found.


Mahmoud and Netanyahu declare peace in the Holy Land. President of Palestinian National Authority Mahmoud Abbas and Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu have issued a statement confirming a resounding success in the latest year-long peace talks between the Palestinian National Authority and the state of Israel. The leaders of the Palestinian and Israeli people are confident that a lasting peace will be achieved. 


The NSPCC has announced it is to close as calls to Childline fall to zero. The trustees of the charity celebrate its closure as a resounding victory over child cruelty in the UK, as there are no longer any children who need the service.


The Prime Minister announced the end of homelessness in a statement outside Downing Street today following the completion of the greatest house-building programme ever devised.


ISIS and Taliban disarm and form charitable foundation for women’s education. Malala Yousufzai has agreed to work with former ISIS fighters and Taliban leaders to devise programmes covering Pakistan, Afghanistan, Iraq and Nigeria, with more projects to be rolled out in coming years. 


If Christ has risen from the dead, then anything is possible. 

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