More reflections on loving enemies

Still reflecting on Bishop Nikolai's prayer. Why do we love our enemies?

I used to take the train to school in London, and a group of girls from another school took the same train. For some reason one day they decided to start picking on me, and I went through a period of perhaps a couple of weeks when I felt quite uncomfortable as I travelled home, trying to ignore their taunting. I guess I was about 13 or 14 at the time. I asked my mum for advice, and she suggested that I treat them really nicely - the next time you see them, she said, give them a big smile. So that's what I did: as the ringleader and I got off the train at the same stop, I turned to her and grinned. She was utterly confused. I remember she even said something like "What? What are you doing?". I never had any trouble from them after that. It wasn't that I had shamed them through being kind; I had freaked them out by smiling, and they couldn't understand what was going on. They probably thought I knew something they didn't. Because I refused to play by their rules; because I refused to react the way they wanted me to, the situation was turned on its head. Well done mum.

This isn't exactly an example of holy love for one's enemies, and I do believe that Jesus genuinely wants us to cultivate love for those who are 'against' us, in whatever way. But I do wonder whether there's also an element of subversion in 'love your enemy'; perhaps it's not simply a masochistic willingness to suffer without complaint, but also a cunning way of wrong-footing those who mean to do us wrong.

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